July 2010
1 post
Os Mutantes kind of day
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
13 posts
How is it that the French make smoking seem so fantastic in movies? Everytime they light up its as if an angel got its’ wings.
WatchiPad Porn
first g-chat with my mom:
me: are you hip? do you know how to use this little box?
franhardy1@gmail.com: Hush
me: you do!
franhardy1@gmail.com: Is this just going to you or the whole facebook gang.
me: what? right now?
franhardy1@gmail.com: Who else can read our conversations?
me: it’s like a text
franhardy1@gmail.com: Oh
me: so just you and me. you need to tell the apple guys to make you...
my love is like a blanket, it gets a little bit...
Relationships
When you love someone, you do not love them all of the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb & flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. ...
Nina Simone - Feelin’ Good Remix:
Makes you...
March 2010
3 posts
“I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save...”
– H. Simpson
Awesome
txtsfrmlstnght:
(641): Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree…Top that.
February 2010
7 posts
online CPR training....
You ask the victim, “Are you choking?” He nods his head “Yes.” You see he is using the universal choking sign and cannot speak. These signs tell you he has a severely blocked airway. You know you need to act quickly! You say, “I’m going to help you.” You stand behind him, wrap your arms around his abdomen, and give several abdominal thrusts. A piece of meat flies out of his mouth. Now he can...
“My friends set me up with this guy who came very highly recommended. We had fun...”
– “Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex” (props to Krystal for finding this gem)
I →
Tfln
txtsfrmlstnght:
(630): my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there’s a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend’s alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Conversation with a patient:
C: I need to go to the doctor.
Tess: Okay, let me make you an appointment. Which doctor?
C: Ya, the witch doctor (rolls away slowly in wheelchair)…
End Scene.
tfln
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine’s day plans
January 2010
5 posts
1 tag
1/2
I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty… you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are. ~ J.D. Salinger
Beauty at a stop light
There is a funeral home right next to the nursing home where I work…also nearby are Hospice Austin, Texas State Cemetery and a Cancer Center. About once a week, the ambulances or firetrucks pull up to work to take out “the expired”. I have recently become quite numb to the aging process, disease process and the process by which we “export the expired”.
Today I was...
August 2009
5 posts
can't take the heat
So, I’ve been running a lot lately in this ungodly Austin heat and humidity. My reasons for torturing myself are three fold:
1) To lose weight
2) Hoping it will make me want to quit smoking.
3) To “accidentally” run into one of the 100’s of beautiful shirtless men.
I have yet to accomplish #’s 2 or 3….but I remain inflated with optimism. Now I must stop...
ewww.
takeaim:
ew. That’s a Trojan package on his shirt.
i think i just threw up a little bit.
I love Paul, and yes, we are on a first name... →
Conversation with a patient today....
D: “Well, you better enjoy your youth.”
T: “I generally do. Why do you say this?”
D: “Cause I think you’re gonna get shot in the next year or two.”
T: “Oh, really? And who is going to do the shooting?”
D: “Probably the mafia.”
T: “Well, I guess I better live it up then. Maybe I should just go home now.”
D: ...
Desperate ploy to see boobs →
July 2009
6 posts
be hip →
For Robyn
Hi, I have joined this tumblr business so that I can stalk you with greater ease. And I suppose I should post things as well. I will attempt to update with only the wittiest of witty, oddest of odd and creepiest of creepy “blogs”… and whatnot. love you:) Tessie
“That’s an impossible shot, Batman!
That’s a negative attitude,...”