My friends set me up with this guy who came very highly recommended. We had fun together, we had the same political views. Everything was perfect, except he had this gross soul patch beneath his lower lip. I just couldn’t do it. … My friends said, ‘Well, maybe he can shave it off,’ and my response was, ‘Yes, but he can’t shave off the part of his brain that thought growing it was a good idea.’ That’s the real problem.
“Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex” (props to Krystal for finding this gem)
